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How to Deal With Victim Shaming & Victim Blaming

by | Feb 14, 2023 | 0 comments

The term “narcissism” on this blog is used to describe a specific set of personality traits. It is not intended to be used as a professional diagnosis.

1Recently, there has been a whole slew of Facebook groups popping up where women can warn other women about abusive men.

At first, following the drama was fun – but then I started seeing stories so similar to my own that it made my heart break.

And then the victim blaming began.

Other women began defending the abusers (even though there was proof of their abuse) and accusing the poster of lying, being manipulative, and being vengeful.

I can’t imagine how these women feel, the ones who come forward with their stories only to be met with accusations.

Thankfully, the admins are quick to remove victim shamers from the group, but that’s just what’s happening on Facebook.

Victim shaming is something that many of us have experienced at some point in our lives. It may have happened directly, or you may have witnessed it happening to someone else.

Either way, victim shaming can be a really painful and upsetting experience, but there are ways to deal with it when it happens.

Recognize that you are the victim.

As a victim, you are not to blame for what happened to you.

You did not cause your attacker to act violently and nor did it have anything to do with how much alcohol was in their system when they assaulted or abused you.

You are not responsible for the actions of another person – they made those choices on their own.

You need to know that there is nothing wrong with being a victim. It’s a perfectly normal reaction after experiencing something traumatic like assault or abuse.

The fact that this happened doesn’t make you weak or less worthy than others around us who haven’t been through similar situations (which is why we refer to survivors instead).

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, angry, and hurt after being attacked by someone else – and no one should ever try telling you otherwise!

Sexual assault: Understand the difference between victim shaming and rape culture.

In order to deal with victim blaming, it’s important to understand what it is.

Victim shaming is when people blame the victim and try to make them feel bad for what happened to them.

Rape culture refers to a culture in which rape is common, sexual violence against women is normalized, and these behaviors are excused or ignored by society at large.

Victim blaming happens because many people don’t understand what sexual assault looks like. They think that if you’re wearing revealing clothes or drinking alcohol then you’re asking for it (which isn’t true).

They may also believe that survivors of sexual assault are just trying to get attention by reporting their experiences publicly, and this isn’t true either!

Read other people’s stories.

Reading other people’s stories can be a great way to feel less alone, less scared, and less ashamed.

It can also help you feel less powerless because it gives you a sense that there are others out there who have gone through the same thing as you and survived (or even thrived).

You can join the groups on Facebook that I mentioned above. They are usually under “Are We Dating the Same Guy in {Your Area}.”

There are also many support groups on FB you can check out as well. Take a look at my support group for those dealing with narcissistic and toxic abuse.

Understand that your feelings are valid, whether or not anyone else thinks so.

It is important to remember that your feelings are valid, even if others don’t agree with them.

You don’t have to feel guilty about how you feel or hide your emotions because someone else thinks they’re wrong.

It’s okay for you to be angry and sad, even if the person who hurt you doesn’t see why they should apologize or make amends for their actions (or lack thereof).

The important thing to remember is that the person who is victim blaming you did not share your experience and will never understand your feelings.

And it’s not your job to convince them otherwise!

Also, try not to fall into the trap that “someone else has it worse.”

I was never physically abused during my relationship with a narcissist (and I’m thankful for that), but that doesn’t make my experience any less traumatic than it was.

I still had to reconcile what happened to me and work through my healing process.

Your experience is unique to you, and you should never feel bad for feeling the way you do about it.

You also don’t have to hide your emotions or pretend that you are fine when you’re not.

Speak out against rape culture and victim blaming whenever possible.

There are many ways to speak out against victim shaming and rape culture.

As a survivor of sexual violence or any type of abuse, you may feel a sense of responsibility to speak up for other survivors who are being shamed or blamed for what happened to them.

You might also want to take action because you know how much it hurts when people talk about you as if they know more about your experience than they actually do.

You can share your story with a support group or even start a blog! Sometimes just speaking out about your victim-shaming experiences can help you rebuild your personal strength and self-esteem.

And you’ll be amazed at how many people need to hear your story! I truly believe there’s a healing quality in helping others, so don’t hesitate to tell your truth.

Victim blaming is never okay, but it can be hard to defend yourself from it sometimes.

Victim shaming is never okay, but it can be hard to defend yourself from it sometimes.

In fact, victim shaming is a form of bullying because it targets someone’s identity and makes them feel like they’re not worthy of respect or care.

Victim shaming is a harmful and pervasive problem that affects people all over the world.

It’s important to remember that you are not alone in your experience with this issue, and there are many ways that you can help others who have been victim-shamed as well.

By speaking out against rape culture and victim blaming whenever possible, we can together create a world where everyone feels safe enough to speak up when something bad happens without fear of being blamed for it later on down the road.

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