Nobody likes being cliched but when it comes to motherhood we can’t help but fall into certain stereotypes and mom cliches.
How many times during your pregnancy did you say to yourself or someone else, “Oh, I’m not going to be THAT mom!”?
Nowadays, how often do you find yourself being that mom?
The mom eating a chocolate bar in the pantry or the one that believes crumpled up pocket tissue is appropriate to wipe noses with – we’ve all perpetuated a cliche in some way.
The beautiful thing about motherhood cliches and stereotypes are that they solidify the idea that we are all in this together.
We all share the same universal experience.
I’m sure you’ve done a thing or two from this list.
Don’t feel bad!
The first rule of motherhood is that we do what we can.
And if that annoys non-moms…oh well.
Poor them for not fully understanding the importance of your child’s poop.
Mom Cliches That Are Totally True! (And That We’re Not Ashamed Of)
1. We Talk About Poop…A Lot
We talk about cleaning it up. We talk about its consistency. We talk about how proud we are when our little ones drop a dook in the toilet.
I was just saying to a friend recently that I am going to start a service for people who are considering having kids. I’ll call them on the phone and they can listen to my daughter and I argue about who is going to wipe her bum.
Then they can tune in as she shows me the toilet paper and has me check her bumhole for residuals.
I’m sure that would help anyone decide real quick whether or not they are prepared for parenthood.
If ever you felt squeamish about poop and other bodily fluids, you certainly forfeited your gag-reflex upon entering motherhood. Perhaps it’s in this newfound strength that we forget that other people don’t want to hear about our child’s bowel movements.
You know what? Too bad. At some point, I’m making you sit through the video of my daughter waddling to the bathroom with a chunk of poop causing her drawers to droop.
2. We Wash Our Kids’ Faces with Spit
Who has time to grab a clean facecloth, or any cloth at all, when your little one has a little smudgey-smudge on their face?
Not moms, I’ll tell you that much.
Mothers in the animal kingdom clean their offspring with their tongues, so what’s wrong with giving your kiddo’s face a little spit-shine?
Absolutely nothing according to science. Spit is actually full of infection-battling white blood cells – specifically neutrophils. The neutrophils that come from saliva are more effective at killing bacteria than from anywhere else in the body.
So maybe this relates more to fighting off infections, but that means your occasional spit shine is not putting your little one at risk at all.
Keep sliming your kiddos’ faces, mamas!
3. We End Arguments with “Because I Said So!”
Arguing with a child is the perfect exercise in futility.
There’s a reason why children argue. They are developing independence as they begin to realize that they are a separate being from you with their own thoughts and wants.
However, they are still growing in their own little world and have yet to learn how to empathize with others and understand other points of view.
You can try to explain your point-of-view to a strong-willed child until you’re blue in the face but sometimes you need to end an argument with, “Because I said so!”
Does this satisfy the arguing child? Of course not, but it definitely black-cards the conversation.
They may whine and complain about the unfairness of your parenting style – and life in general – but it’s the perfect phrase to use when you need to shut down an argument.
I don’t suggest using this phrase on the regular. At some point, you should explain your perspective. Even if you feel that your child is not absorbing your lesson, they are still learning.
But when you’re little one is getting on your last nerve, it is sometimes best to live up to this mom cliche and exercise your parental right to being right before you work yourself into a tizzy.
4. We Use Our Sleeves As Tissues
Much like spit-shining, we often don’t have time to grab a sanitary facial tissue when boogers are making an appearance through our child’s nostrils.
The choice here is one of urgency. Do you run for the Kleenex as snot streams down your little one’s face or do you take care of business in a timely fashion by swiping your sleeve across their face?
It’s gross, I know. I once caught my child’s puke in my hands for no real reason.
As mothers, all logic goes out the window when we are faced with dealing with bodily fluids quickly and effectively.
We are running the risk of irritated and chapped skin but a one-time swipe of snot streams is not going to harm your child. I would, however, definitely recommend grabbing a tissue before the next booger onslaught.
5. Our Children Are Geniuses
That’s right. Every single one of our children is the smartest kid in the world. It’s amazing how many kiddos currently hold that top spot.
Having a child awards each and every mother with automatic bragging rights. We grew them, we carried them and we pushed them out (or had them removed which is also tragic to our bodies). We nursed and nourished them and kept them alive somehow.
When they take their first steps, speak their first words or give their first wet-willy, we are on standby to take all the credit. We are with them 24-7 so how else would they have learned these things?
The same goes for their intelligence. Maybe we can’t take credit for their entire development but you can be damned sure that, due to or despite your influence, they are the smartest kid ever to exist.
I’ve made friends with many mothers of hyper-intelligent children and, also being a mother of a hyper-intelligent child, I’m amazed at how accepting we are of each other’s tiny geniuses.
Your kid could tie their shoes at age 3? Well, mine started walking at 10 months. That’s awesome! We are moms to really amazing kids!
6. We Sneak Junk Food into the Bathroom
I’ll admit, I’ve never gone as far as to sneak food into the bathroom. I’m fortunate to live in a two-level home. So when my little one is upstairs getting ready for bed, I often have to go downstairs to “get some chores done”.
By chores I mean, of course, making a PB&J sandwich that I don’t want to share with her or make her one of her own.
We give our kids our all 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There is nothing wrong with keeping a little to ourselves. We don’t have to share absolutely everything with our children.
They don’t understand that, though. This is why we feel the need to sneak in those little indulgences by hiding out in bathrooms, pantries and closets.
Just be sure you have a good excuse ready when you are busted by your kid.
7. Two Words: Mom Brain
You know that realization that since having kids your brain has effectively stopped working and you are now as dumb as a stump?
Yeah, that’s mom brain. One of the perpetuating mom cliches that are actually founded in science.
It’s when you put the fries in the oven and forget to turn it on. It’s when you look relentlessly for your glasses although you are wearing them.
Mom brain is actually recognized in the medical world as a real psychological condition. Our brains physically change when we have kids to promote a sense of caring for our children.
Couple those physiological changes with the stress that comes with motherhood and you have a recipe for a scattered brain.
Even those our brains will never return to their pre-baby state, it will change and develop in such ways that you will eventually retain most of your mental faculties as your child grows and develops.
That is to say that as your kiddo gets older, you’ll have fewer dumb-dumb moments.
8. We Are Obsessed with Coffee
Not just obsessed but completely reliant. Coffee is our fuel. Our blood. Our raison d’être.
There’s a whole Internet culture that thrives on the humor associated with moms’ obsession with coffee.
Our obsession with coffee stems from the complete and total exhaustion that has permeated our lives. Ever have a non-mom argue that she’s more tired than you? How hard did you laugh?
Being a mother is stressful and overwhelming. Sometimes we need to take shortcuts in order to make it through each day.
If that means guzzling coffee to keep our peepers open, so be it.
Feed your coffee obsession, mama. Whatever you need to do to get through the day.
[bctt tweet=”Having children is like working a full-time job when you already have a full-time job but need a third full-time job to pay the bills.” username=”@mamamayhem_xo”]
9. We Know Best
We created and birthed our children and spend more time with them than anyone else. It comes as no surprise that we know what is best for them.
So we, of course, also know what is best for other people’s children.
But we should probably keep it to ourselves.
The second worst cycle to get trapped in by your child (apart from the argument snare) is the “Why?” vortex. At some point, your kid is going to question every response you give them and everything you ask them to do.
You could continually answer the rapid-fire succession of “whys” until either you or your child pass out from exhaustion – or you can shut it down with a simple: “Because I know best.”
Is your child going to accept this response? Like anything you say to them – no.
But much like the “Because I said so” response, it is helpful in shutting down unwanted conversations. The last thing you probably want to do is sit through your child’s relentless interrogation.
Again, this should not be your default response and every argument and round of questioning is a potential learning opportunity.
However, when enough is enough, it’s okay to throw this mom cliche phrase in their direction.
10. Our Lives Revolve Around Motherhood
Everything we do has everything to do with being a mother.
We live motherhood. We breathe it. We sweat it. Our tears are comprised of our motherness.
When we talk about ourselves, we talk about being mothers. As soon as your little one is born, motherhood usurps your identity.
This can be a problem, however, if we define who we are based on being a mother. It can be detrimental to our self-esteem, especially when we are so very prone to feeling guilty and shameful if we don’t feel like we’re doing motherhood right.
Take a moment to remember who you are and what is important to you. Yes, you are a mom but you can also be a good listener, a fantastic joke teller or an amazing cook.
You’re allowed to be many things. Just make sure you are being you.
How Many Are True For You?
Come on, I know you’re guilty of at least one of these cliches!
I want to hear about them! The good, the bad and the ugly! Drop a comment below and share your story: