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7 Common Parallel Parenting Plan Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)

by | Nov 14, 2023 | 0 comments

The term “narcissism” on this blog is used to describe a specific set of personality traits. It is not intended to be used as a professional diagnosis.

1Welcome to the world of parallel parenting – a journey that’s like navigating through a maze with a blindfold on.

When you’re divorced or dealing with co-parenting challenges, knowing what to do doesn’t always come easy.

I’ve been there! While trying to co-parent with a narcissist, I made my fair share of mistakes.

But I learned a thing or two along the way, and I’m here to help you avoid the parallel parenting pitfalls I fell into!

Co-parenting mistakes happen, and I promise you that you will figure things out along the way.

So let’s take a look at some parallel parenting plan mistakes and how you can avoid them:

1. You Didn’t Get a Lawyer Involved

You may be thinking, “My ex and I can do this on our own.”

Or maybe you’re worried about the cost of hiring a lawyer.

But the truth is if you have a complex situation or are trying to craft an agreement that works for both parents, then having a lawyer involved is essential.

A lawyer will help keep things fair and enforceable in court if needed – and can even help negotiate agreements between parents when they can’t agree on their own (which happens more often than people think).

A good attorney has experience with parallel parenting plans and knows how best to create one that works for everyone involved.

If necessary, he or she will also know when it’s time to modify an existing plan so everyone’s needs are being met while staying within the bounds of what’s legally possible under state law.

2. You Haven’t Talked to the Other Parent About Your Plan

If you’re not talking to the other parent about your plan, you run the risk of them not following it.

This can be a problem if they don’t want to follow it or they do but don’t know when they’re supposed to do something as part of that plan.

If your ex-spouse has questions about what’s going on, who’s taking care of what, and when, make sure that those questions are answered before signing off on anything else.

Having an open line of communication is important for both parties involved in parallel parenting plans so that everyone knows where things stand at all times (or as close as possible).

3. You Tried to Negotiate Everything on Your Own

The first mistake you can make is trying to negotiate everything on your own.

This is a big mistake, and it’s easy to see why: you’ve got so much going on in your life right now that it makes sense to try and take care of things yourself.

But the fact is that these situations are complicated, and they require specialized knowledge and experience – which is exactly what lawyers have!

A lawyer will be able to help you make the best decisions possible for your family, which will ultimately lead to a happier outcome for everyone involved.

They’ll also be able to guide you through the entire process from start (when drafting up documents) all the way through completion (when finalizing everything).

4. You’re Showing Favoritism

Don’t show favoritism to one activity or the other: “This weekend, you’re going with Mommy because she likes the beach, but next weekend you’ll go with Daddy because he likes hiking better than swimming.”

In addition, don’t make any decisions based on what’s easiest for you as a parent (or even what’s best).

If there are multiple activities available at different times and places – and it seems like there always are! – it can be tempting to just pick whichever one would give you more time off from parenting duties without having any real impact on your child’s experience.

But this leads down an ugly path where kids grow up thinking they’re only valued by how much work their parents save them from doing instead of seeing themselves as valued individuals who deserve equal time spent with both parents regardless of whether it might inconvenience anyone else in some way.

5. Your Visitation Is Too Much for the Child to Handle

When it comes to your visitation schedule, it’s important to consider how much time the child is used to spending with the other parent.

If you have a young child, they may not be able to handle as much time away from you as they will in the future.

It may be better for everyone involved if you adjust their visitation schedule accordingly until they get older and can handle more time apart from their primary parent.

On the other hand, if your kids are older and have been accustomed to spending lots of time on their own at home or with friends during school breaks and summer vacations – then maybe it would make sense for them not only visit with Dad/Mom but also spend some nights there too!

6. You’re Not Respecting the Schedule/Negotiated Plan but Expect the Other Parent to Do So.

If you promised your ex that you would take the kids to their soccer game on Tuesday and then forgot, that’s not good.

Similarly, if they didn’t show up for a scheduled playdate with them and left it to you to call off the plans (and then blamed you for doing so), that’s also not good. Don’t be a flake!

And do your share of the work.

If both parents are supposed to help out with homework or do chores around the house, make sure that happens, even if one parent is often late or doesn’t really seem like they’re trying their best at it (which might just mean they don’t know how).

You can always ask questions about things if necessary; just don’t expect anyone else’s behavior will change without some sort of consequence being involved first (like asking them why something hasn’t been done yet).

7. You Aren’t Keeping Up With Your Child’s Progress and Needs.

One of the biggest mistakes that parents make is not keeping up with their child’s progress, needs, and life changes.

  • Keep up with schoolwork, sports, and other activities. You need to know what your child is doing in school, who they are hanging out with, and how well they are doing academically and socially.
  • Keep up on health needs. If your child is sick or injured, do not ignore it! Make sure they get medical attention right away so that there aren’t any long-term repercussions from ignoring the problem at hand (like permanent damage).
  • Be aware of any changes in their life (e.g., new friends or acquaintances). If you notice something unusual about someone who has close contact with your children – for example, if a new friend seems dangerous – then talk about it openly with them so everyone can be aware of potential dangers lurking around every corner!

Don’t Make These Mistakes if You Want Your Parallel Parenting Plan to Succeed!

I hope this article has helped you avoid some of the common mistakes people make when they’re trying to implement a parallel parenting plan.

Remember that it’s important to get legal help and work together with your ex-partner on a plan that works best for everyone involved!

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