Do you want to learn more about parallel parenting with a narcissist?
Are you confused about the difference between parallel parenting and co-parenting?
I love writing for this blog and providing you with as much information as I can on parallel parenting, toxic relationships, narcissism, and more.
But while I do my best to keep Motherhood+Mayhem full of relevant and up-to-date information, anyone can benefit from grabbing a good book about parallel parenting!
But before I get into my list of parallel parenting book recommendations (including my own), let’s talk a tiny bit about what parallel parenting is:
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What is Parallel Parenting?
In a nutshell, parallel parenting is a way of parenting with an ex that limits communication and conflict.
This is especially helpful if your ex is toxic, narcissistic, or just plain goes out of their way to be difficult.
By limiting their involvement in your life and setting boundaries, parallel parenting will help you keep your child out of the chaos.
But there’s more to parallel parenting then just limiting communication, which is why I recommend reading a book or two.
While that’s definitely the first step, it also involves developing resilience, building your emotional control, and protecting your children from the fallout.
It also helps keep agreements in check and avoid “miscommunications” or manipulation of plans.
Overall, it will help you minimize conflict with your ex.
And while that may sound like a lot to take in, it’s pretty easy to apply to your life once you understand the nuances of this parenting style and start practicing it.
Parallel Parenting Books to Check Out
Alright, now that we’ve gone over a bit about what parallel parenting is, here are some of the books you should check out to learn more:
1 You Can’t Co-Parent with a Narcissist by Chelsy Theriault
Hey! That name sounds familiar!
Yes, I wrote a book about parallel parenting when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic ex.
This book explores what narcissism is so that you’ll know what you’re dealing with and then gets into how to parallel parent, support your children, build your inner strength, and heal from your experience.
I don’t really delve into my personal situation (after a defamation threat I really didn’t want to deal with), but the information is straightforward, actionable, and supportive for those who have gone through the horrors of making a baby with a narcissist.
2 The Parallel Parenting Solution by Carl Knickerbocker
The Parallel Parenting Solution by Carl Knickerbocker is one of the most popular books on Amazon about parallel parenting.
While it doesn’t focus specifically on narcissists, it does address how to eliminate conflict with difficult exes by negating the idea that good parents must “co-parent” for the sake of their children.
It’s aimed at helping divorced parents find a common ground when it comes to parenting separately that is more realistic than expecting a perfect situation.
But it does address dealing with people who are narcissistic and high-conflict, so it’s worth checking out!
3 Co-Parenting with a Narcissist by Melanie Parker
Melanie Parker’s book Co-Parenting with a Narcissist will help you set boundaries, protect your child from parental alienation, and help you work through the frustration of struggling with a narcissist.
Her practical and drama-free strategies will help you cope with the way your ex treats you and your children, find ways to set limits and steer clear of your ex’s temper tantrums.
She also goes into how narcissistic parenting can affect children as they grow up.
4 Co-parenting Vs Parallel Parenting by Mildred Wagner
Parallel parenting vs co-parenting is something that confuses many people when it comes to parenting with a difficult or narcissistic ex.
In her book, Mildred Wagner addresses the idea that co-parenting doesn’t have to be about winning or finding complete peace.
Instead, she offers practical advice and solutions that can be applied to many different types of parenting situations, whether you are facing common co-parenting struggles or you are parallel parenting with a narcissist.
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5 Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: A Guidebook for Targeted Parents by Sharie Stines and Patricia Harriman
Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: A Guide for Targeted Parents explores the dynamics of parental alienation while giving the reader techniques and tools to relaim their relationship with their children.
Parental alienation happens when one parent, for lack of a better term, turns their children against the other parent. It’s illegal and highly detrimental to children.
Dealing with that type of situation can be complicated, so this book is perfect if you are looking for relief and advice.
6 Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family From Bad-mounting and Brainwashing by Dr. Richard A. Warshak
One huge factor of parental alienation is bad-mouthing the other parent to and in front of the children.
I wanted to include Divorce Poison on this list because author Dr. Warshak really digs into what you can do if your ex is bad-mouthing you to your children, portraying you in a negative light, and trying to turn them against you.
This book provides powerful strategies to rebuild relationships with your children as well as advice when it comes to protecting your children from parental alienation.
7 Co-Parenting With a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You by Amy Baker and Paul Fine
Again, here’s another book about parental alienation that looks at what you should do if your ex is trying to turn your kids against you.
This book by Amy Baker and Paul Fine, nationally recognized parenting experts, offers positive approaches to dealing with a hostile ex.
They also go over co-parenting mistakes, ways to avoid parental alienation, and techniques for talking to your kids that will help support them throughout the situation.
8 Anger Management for Parents by Erika Miller
For the last parallel parenting book on this list, I wanted to add something that addresses how to deal with the anger you may be feeling because of the frustration caused by parallel parenting with a narcissist.
Although Anger Management for Parents deals more with how not to yell at your kids, it’s still a great book when it comes to learning how to manage and control your emotions in a healthy way.
This can then be used when it comes to dealing with your ex so that you can create a harmonious environment for your children and avoid being drawn into conflict by your ex.
Books About Parallel Parenting
That’s it! These are definitely some amazing books about parallel parenting that you should check out.
Parallel parenting as a concept is pretty easy to grasp, but implementing it can be challenging.
The best thing you can do is learn more about parallel parenting and its techniques so that you can begin creating a better situation for you and your children.
Looking for more co-parenting help? I’ve got you covered with these posts! Check them out:
- Co-Parenting 101
- Co-Parenting With a Narcissist
- Co-Parenting Boundaries to Keep Your Sanity
- How to Put Your Kids First While Co-Parenting
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