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How to Spot a Narcissist From a Mile Away

by | Feb 22, 2023 | 0 comments

The term “narcissism” on this blog is used to describe a specific set of personality traits. It is not intended to be used as a professional diagnosis.

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Narcissists are everywhere, and they have a way of ruining everyone’s day!

They can be found in every industry, class, gender, and race, and chances are that someone you know is a narcissist.

In fact, there’s a good chance that you might be dealing with one right now!

Getting involved with a narcissist can be a painful experience.

Due to the nature of their disorder, they often abuse, manipulate, and control others to get what they want, which can leave a person in absolute ruin.

But don’t worry!

You can spot the narcissism warning signs before they get too close and cause any damage to your relationships or mental health.

Let’s take a look at how you can spot a narcissist from a mile away!

You See Them Everywhere. Everywhere.

Nowadays, narcissists are a dime a dozen, and it’s hard not to feel like you’re surrounded by them.

They’re the people who take up space at social events, who get promoted over you at work, and who always seem to be fawned over by everyone around them.

These can either be people who legitimately have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or people who have narcissistic tendencies.

When it comes to safeguarding your own well-being, you want to stay away from people with narcissistic traits that involve controlling, manipulating, and emotionally abusing other people.

(Whether they have an official diagnosis or not).

When you’re on the lookout for narcissism, it becomes much easier to spot in others’ behavior.

Here are some telltale signs of narcissism to look out for!

They Don’t Take Criticism Well

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Narcissists don’t want to hear about their faults, and they get angry when criticized.

If someone calls a narcissist out on something, they will get defensive and try to turn it around on the “accuser” instead of listening to what the person is saying.

This is known as blame-shifting and gaslighting, which occurs when someone tries to convince you that something didn’t happen when you know it did.

This can be particularly dangerous if you have children together; narcissists tend not just to ignore bad behavior but also praise it as well!

They’re Not Good Listeners

Narcissists are not good listeners.

They interrupt, don’t ask questions, and have a one-sided conversation. They’re not interested in your story – they only care about themselves.

If you’ve ever had this experience with someone:

  • they talk over you or don’t let you finish your sentences
  • they don’t listen when you try to tell them something important
  • when something is wrong with them (and it usually is)
  • they act like it’s all about how YOU made them feel instead of taking accountability for their actions

…then this person might be a narcissist!

They Show No Empathy for Others

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Even though narcissists are capable of feeling empathy, they will show no empathy for others.

They don’t care about other people’s feelings, and they don’t think about them either.

In fact, if you have a problem or need that could be solved by asking for help from a friend or family member (for example), the narcissist will likely refuse to offer any assistance whatsoever unless it benefits him in some way.

This is because they are self-centered and self-absorbed.

They see themselves as the most important person in every situation, so they don’t put much thought into what anyone else needs or wants out of life.

And They Can Be Extremely Manipulative and Controlling

You may not know it, but narcissists are extremely manipulative and controlling.

They can be very good at getting what they want from others – and that includes you.

Narcissists use guilt trips, threats, charm – anything at their disposal – to manipulate people into doing what they want them to do.

For example: If your husband is a narcissist and wants you to stay home all day while he works (or plays) he doesn’t have to worry about coming home early or making dinner himself.

He’ll probably tell you how much he misses spending time with his family when he gets back from work every day because “we’ve been apart” for so long already during the weekdays when we both had jobs before this one was offered.

Or maybe instead of telling her boyfriend directly how much she hates being ignored by him during their dates together (and then acting upset when she notices him checking out other women), our friend might just keep quiet until things get ugly between them.

Then suddenly, her behavior becomes justified in his mind as retaliation against someone who didn’t deserve any better anyway.

If a Narcissist Sees Something They Want, They’ll Do Whatever It Takes to Get It

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Narcissists are very charming and persuasive, like an expert salesman who can sell you anything.

A narcissist might be able to convince you that the color red looks fabulous on you or that your favorite restaurant serves the best food in town (even though it doesn’t).

Narcissists are also persistent when pursuing their goals; they don’t give up easily.

If you tell them no once or twice, they will try again and again until they wear down your defenses or wear out your patience with them.

This persistence can make it difficult for anyone who isn’t prepared for it ahead of time, but if someone has been conditioned by previous experiences with this type of person before (like family members), then their guard might be up from the start!

How to Spot a Narcissist While Dating or in a Relationship

“Narcissists might be very charming early on in a relationship — and then things start changing,” says Jennifer Muir, PhD, a psychologist at the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York City. “And there’s never a specific point at which you can say, ‘Okay, now this is definitely a narcissistic person.'”

Narcissism is a spectrum, and “Some people are very high in narcissism, and others are not,” says Muir. “If someone has a lot of insecurity or self-doubt – which most people do – then they may have some qualities of narcissism.”

But don’t worry if you think your partner might be narcissistic: It’s not always obvious from the beginning whether someone has this personality disorder or not.

Narcissists can be very charming at first, so much so that even their friends don’t realize what’s going on behind closed doors until it’s too late!

What is the best way to spot them?

  • Make sure they’re being open and honest with their feelings when things get tough instead of shutting down completely.
  • See if they pass up any opportunities where they could benefit from another person (like asking for help).
  • Check to see if they avoid talking about themselves unless asked specifically by someone else.
  • Make sure there isn’t any sign whatsoever that makes others feel uncomfortable around them (i.e., bragging about accomplishments).

Recognize Signs of Narcissism to Protect Yourself From Them

Recognizing the signs of narcissism is important because it can help you avoid people who are manipulative and controlling.

Narcissists often have a grandiose sense of self-importance, lack empathy for others, and require admiration from others.

They may also be envious or exploited in their relationships with others (think: constantly seeking reassurance that they’re more talented than everyone else).

If you think you might be dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to know that you don’t have to continue the relationship.

In fact, it may be better for your mental health if you cut ties with this person as soon as possible, even if they’re someone close to you, like your boss or spouse.

If their behavior is causing harm in your life (and it probably will), then there are steps you can take today toward getting out altogether!

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